Wednesday, May 30, 2018

You Are What You Tweet

Hey Gang,

May has been a crazy month for me.  I have attended a lot of graduation ceremonies, a few Memorial  Day barbecues and even a Mother's Day banquet.  I wasn't technically invited to any of these celebrations or knew any of the people in attendance, but boy did I have fun! (Until I was asked to leave.)

Now that the Mayziness (the craziness of May) has worn off, I have started paying attention to the news again.  It turns out that a famous person sent out a Tweet using the application Twitter and got into a lot of trouble.  This isn't the first time this has happened. (If you can believe it.)  It seems that well-known people often express their views spontaneously. Sometimes, it makes them endearing to their followers, sometimes it makes them lose their job and sometimes it gets them elected to the highest political office in all the land.  Social media is fun!

It got me to thinking.  What if famous people hired someone to speak on their behalf?  What if a rich person whose source of income is dependent on their likability could hire a professional to publish any statements for them. Maybe they could be called a Publicist?  What a sane world that would be! Can you imagine, well thought out cohesive statements given to the press?  I know it sounds crazy, maybe it something we can shoot for in the 22nd Century.

Here's to a Jellow! (That is a mellow June!)

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer
   

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The Sweet Smell of Sussex

Hey Gang,


I guess you have heard by now that there was a huge to-do this past weekend.  Two members of royalty got married.  I am fuzzy on the details, but the couple is now charge of Sussex!  I was not sure what Sussex was, so I used the Google program to investigate and come to find out...Sussex is a county in the regal state of New Jersey.

From my understanding, this newlywed couple is in now charge of all 141,682 people who reside in the county. That's a lot of people! The pair will also oversee all 535.74 square miles of Sussex. That's a lot of land!  The area is home to many generational New Jersey residents.  That's a lot of Aqua Net!

The two royals where given the title of Duke and Duchess of Sussex. How fancy!  It is motivating to see old-timey titles used in modern times. It has inspired me to change my professional status to Lady Gainer, Countess Trainer. I am hoping that this new elegant title will finally help me get an actual training job. (As of right now I am still the Earl of Unemployment!)

I do wish Henry and Megs all the best. (That's what I call them.)  They have a long road ahead of them. (By road, I mean the New Jersey turnpike.)   Marriage isn't easy, but those two crazy kids have a lot of love for another, (Also, they have a lot of my unanswered emails offering them unsolicited marital and governing advise.)

Love (and the smell of New Jersey) is in the air! Stay Awake, Kids!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

ConGraduations!!!

Hey Gang,

It's graduation time for many students across America.  As someone who has never graduated anything...ever, I find this season fascinating!  From what I understand, there are lots of inspirational speakers during the graduation ceremony.  As an aspiring trainer, I think I would be good fit be as an aspiring commencement speaker.

In preparation for any future speeches that I may or may not be asked to make, I have prepared the following words:

Hello Class of The Present Year,

Some of you may be graduating from high school or college...maybe 8th grade or kindergarten.  It is really hard to say, we seem to "graduate" almost any grade these days with elaborate ceremonies and gifts. Yay consumer spending!

All of you before me  have come here today for many different reasons...you attended a program that is now ending.  Ok, maybe that is the same reason.  Many of you, though, wanted this diploma  for many different reasons...you were promised it as a result of completing the program.  Ok, maybe that is also the same reason.  All of you before me are exactly the same and interchangeable.  Be proud!

It wasn't easy finishing the tasks that led you here.  There was a lot of homework, a lot of tests and a lot of studying.  Why did you go to all that much trouble and work? Seriously, I want to know...you missed out on a lot of naps and reality programming.  At least 23 Real Housewives shows were made, aired and cancelled in that time.  Just think about what you missed out on. I hope it was worth it.

Look around you and remember this day.  Remember who was sitting next to you. Remember who came to support you. Remember what it took to get you to where you are today. Remember it all...you may be questioned later by the police as I just stepped on to the podium without being the ACTUAL commencement speaker and I see the cops running towards me now.

In conclusion, because the officers are drawing near, make today the first day of the rest of the remaining afternoon.  

Stay awake kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer








Saturday, May 12, 2018

The Best Of Podcast!

Hey Gang,
Give your Mom the gift of Gainer!  If your Mom isn't watching our weekly episodes, introduce her to out "best of" video.  All the fun in one click!


Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Writer's Block Blog

Hey Gang,

I have been writing this blog for a year and a half.  If it were a baby, it would be walking by now.  If it were a kitty, it would be fully functional and plotting against its enemies by now. If it were a panther chameleon, it would have gone through puberty, laid eggs, saw its offspring and died of old age by now.  I have had this blog for awhile is what I am trying to say.

It isn't always easy to come up with new and exciting topics week after week.  Some weeks, I am inspired by world events, personal challenges or even interesting observations that come into my mind.  This week I have nothing.

I am sure the news is chock full of fodder, but there are times when I become Cathy Gainer Stick My Head In The Sand Trainer.  There is only so much I can read without becoming overwrought with anxiety and fear for the future, it's at that point I transform into Cathy Gainer Can't Get Out Of The Fetal Position Trainer.  No one really wants her to write a blog.  It usually just consists of tears on a computer screen and the words, "When will it end?" written over and over.

This week has also been full of personal challenges. Not the fun, 'I have gone through the storm and came out on the other side' challenges.  They have been more like the 'When will it end?' challenges that turn me into Cathy Gainer Full Of Regret Trainer.

That leaves me right where I am, on the computer with nothing to write about.  I try to think WWTRANOD? (What Would Tony Robbins and Oprah Do?)  In my mind's eye, I see them pulling up from their funk, sitting at the computer and finally writing a weekly blog.  In reality, I wonder if one of Tony or Oprah's assistants would just write the blog while the gurus sat in a dark Gremlin binge eating cracker sticks and cheese dip in a packet. (Those snacks are delicious. Oprah probably has a fancy cheese like brie in her packet. )

Well gang, I hate to disappoint but this week's blog is going to be preempted by a case of writer's block and a very small block of gooey fake cheese.

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

My DemBROgraphics!!

Hey Gang,

I recently discovered statistics regarding this blog!  It turns out that men between the ages of 25-35 are reading it the most!  I thought I would take a moment to pander to my biggest demographic....The Bros!

So...have you all seen the latest superhero movie?  It was way rad, especially the part when the villain was seemingly winning the confrontation but was ultimately defeated by the end of movie.  Also, who likes to watch organized games of sports? Tater Tots are delicious. Never having to be a real adult is nifty!

Ok guys, I am back...I had to italicize the above dialogue so you  know that I was in my "bro" character.  I am just me now.  Just for full disclosure (because there are a lot of legalities regarding what you can and can't say on a personal blog) I have never watched a superhero movie.  As a child I tried a read comic book once, but was bored and opted for a Tony Robbins pamphlet that I fatefully found at a mall parking lot.  I am sure they are lovely movies.  Who doesn't get entertained by 90 minutes of watching people getting all punchy and kicky on the big screen?

Also, I don't really watch the sporting events either.  When I was in high school, as Cathy Gainer Adolescent Trainer, I would attend some of the athletic competitions.  It is fun.  Our school had colored uniforms that the athletes wore. The other teams competing also donned matching clothes.  I would cheer vehemently for my school, until the coaches would tell me to leave the gymnasium.

I really do eat tater tots, though. Who doesn't?  I feel that is kind of a universal appeal, not just dudes like finger sized crispy potatoes

Well folks and bros, keep reading every week. I hope you are watching my podcasts as well.  Tune in this Saturday for a video that thanks to the blog-reading bros!

Stay Awake Kids
Peace Out, Broseph
(That is Bro-Talk for Stay Awake Kids!)

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer