Thursday, June 29, 2017

Listen To What You're Hearing.

Hey Gang,

As you know, Tony Robbins is my spirit animal.  I have wanted to motivate the masses like that gravel-voiced Adonis since I first saw him on Oprah.(Oprah is my spirit human.)  He can light up the room with his powerful words and gleaming teeth.  He's like a televangelist with rock hard abs that doesn't need to offer eternal salvation.

In my never-ending quest to motivate myself to become more motivating, I will often do research. I find wisdom through books, articles and memes. (That little boy who shakes his fist is quite a thinker.)  I recently read that motivation  isn't about what you say, it is about what people hear.  This passage was like a light bulb moment for me. (I would say aha moment, but I don't want another cease and desist letter from my spirit human.)  If it's about what people are hearing rather than what you are saying, that only means one thing...Google Translator!

I will offer my words of wisdom and advice and then put them into Google Translator.  I will put in phrases like, "You Be You", "Keep On Keeping On" and "Keep on Being You!"  (They are the staples of my motivational speeches.)   I can't wait to see what they are translated into and what people hear from those translations.  It will be like an electronic game of mad libs!  If this works out, maybe I can finally get that island in Fiji near Tony's island. (I can't buy the one right next to him, my latest restraining order prohibits it.)

Until next time!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Friday, June 23, 2017

Nothing Rhymes With Chipotle

Hey Gang,

As our country grows, changes and becomes a melting pot of people, so does our fast food-sit down-chain restaurants.  Today we have Italian grills, Korean barbecues and California pizzas.  What started out as a food from a specific culture, gets extracted and mixed with staples of Americana, which usually includes extra cheese and ranch dressing to bring us the modern cuisine that we have today.

Nothing makes me happier than eating a Chipolte Rice Bowl.  It's like an unwrapped burrito that you eat with a fork or a Chinese meal that it made up entirely of Mexican food.  It's filling and delicious!

Even the set up of a Chipolte restaurant is a hybrid of different fast food joints.  Most interiors look like a beatnik-laden coffee house, but the ordering process is a lot like a Subway.  It has fresh food, a long line of people individualizing each order, and employees that don't make eye contact when I point out each condiment and say "Does this have e-coli?  How about this? Ok what about this one?"

The next time you go out to eat, take note of all the cultures that your food is representing.  Is it a food that has a Spanish flair,  an Asian inspired dish or good old American Cheetos stuffed with mac and cheese?

 Bone Appetizers!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Summer Solistice

Hey Gang,

Summer solstice is today and quite frankly, it's my favorite of all solstices.  It is the longest day of the year, but really the least celebrated of all the sun holidays.  I just don't think that this holiday has done a very good job of marketing itself, which is a shame since this is an age of social media and do-it-yourself advertising.

I have a few suggestions to help boost summer solstice's popularity.  For one, there are no mascots like Santa, Easter Bunny or leprechauns for summer solstice.  Why not have an imaginary character for children to look forward to in the summer?  It should represent what June is about, summer, sun and outside.  Maybe the mascot should be Niles, the Magical Mosquito?   He comes every solstice biting the children and filling them with summer fun.

Children all over the northern hemisphere will anticipate Niles arrival by putting standing water outside their house, opening their windows and hiding their bug spray.  Niles will sneak in at night when children are sleeping and ravage their skin with summer-fun.  When the children wake up they will be itchy and ready for fun in the sun!

Also summer solstice doesn't have any greeting cards.  Why not exchange summer time salutations with a Hallmark card that reads:

Summer vacation is here and we will travel for miles
Enjoying the pool and waiting for Niles
Soaking in the sun and enjoying the light
While we put Calamine Lotion on all of Nile's bites

Happy Summer Solstices!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Cold War-ming

Hey Gang,

As a corporate trainer/life coach/unemployed guru, it is important for me to keep current with the news.  I usually take about an hour each morning to read up on everything that is going on in the world.  The first 30 minutes is spent looking at news website and the last 30 minutes is spent, rocking myself in a fetal position out of shear terror from what I just read.  I like to call it "panic cardio."  I was thinking about making it the latest workout craze!

Russia has been in the news a lot lately.  Being scared of the Russians brings me back to my childhood where I would only have one newspaper and one newscast that brought terror into my day. The times were simpler and the hairstyles were bigger back then.

The cold war was always discussed.  Even then, as Cathy Gainer Junior Trainer, I learned that art of pretending to know what everyone was talking about.  As wars go...Gang War, Nuclear War and  World War... the Cold War didn't seem so bad.  Just bring a sweater.

Now we are reliving Russians tension in an age of global warming.  What would that do to a cold war?  Would the two counter-act one another.  If the cold war starts but greenhouse gases heat up, would that cause harmony on our planet?  I am not sure.  I bought 10 cans of Aquanet just in case things get dicey and we need to burn more ozone in the name of world peace.

Take care and think happy thoughts while you read scary things!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Tony! Tony! Tony!

Hey Gang,

As life-long fan of Tony Robbins, I wasn't surprised to hear that he has his own awards show.  It was broadcast last Sunday and people have been posting about it since.  It was a fancy event filled with talent , music and celebrities. It was simply called the "Tony Awards."

Tony Robbins has always been my inspiration and the reason I decided to be a corporate trainer/life coach/motivational arouser. I realize that I don't have his well chiselled body that make those black shirts hang off of him like a work of art, or a set of perfectly white teeth that light up the room when he smiles, or even his fees of thousands of dollars that help to extra inspire people.  I do, though, have one thing that he has...his words.  I say his words verbatim. I have memorized  most of the stuff he has written in his books or during his appearances on Oprah.  (Where are the Oprah Awards, by the way?  It's time to step up, America.)

Thanks to someone not signing out of the Netflix account on a public library computer, I was able to see Tony's latest special.  Oh my was I impressed! Not only was he charismatic and handsome, he was also dangerously dispensing psychological advise that he was clearly not qualified to give.  It was kind like watching people at a church, if the church had charged thousands of dollars and the preacher berated them in front of the congregation.  Netflix, you were worth that low monthly fee a stranger paid for.

Well kids, go out there today and find your motivation . Maybe you will find it from me, or from Tony, or from me talking about Tony.  Go find your happiness.  And remember what Tony always says...."That's great!!!" (That was actually Tony the Tiger.  As per some on-going legal battles, I am not allowed put any of Tony Robbins direct quotes in my blogs and I have to stay at least a thousand feet from his property.)

Thanks Gang,

Cathy Gainer, Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Haters Be Hating

Hey Gang,

The great T-Swizzle has taught us that Haters gonna hate, the Fakers gonna fake and off course the Shakers gonna shake it off.  This got me to I have Haters?  Am I a Hater?  I am a Breather, an Eater, a Fantasizer of Tony Robbins, but a Hater?  I don't think so.

There are a few people that I feel extremely envious of.  I mean the envy eats me up so much that I can't sleep, I obsess about them and wish for their ultimate demise.  I don't think that makes me a Hater.  I would call it more of an Envier or a Borderline Dangerous Jealouser, but not a hater.  I am not really sure what a Hater is.

I have decided to get prepared for the day I do have a Hater.  I think my Hater will be a young 20-something person.  I can't decide if it will be male or female, so for now I will just refer to them as Jordan. 

Jordan will at first be struck by my training skills.  Jordan will try to emulate everything I do, but will soon be frustrated that he/she can never truly be a corporate trainer of Cathy Gainer's caliber.  Things will get ugly, I will be tempted to sink to Jordan's level when the mud starts slinging, but ultimately I will prevail the winner.

Having haters was hard. T-Swizzle was right and in a weird way I am glad that Jordan came in my life.  It will teach me a lot about myself, if it actually ever happens.

Take Care Gang,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Who's this TED fellow?

Hey Gang,

Fun fact about me, I am thinking about wanting to become an inspirational speaker.  I have been thinking about it for years now.  I have looked into it and it turns out that you have to have a message of inspiration in order to become an inspirational speaker.  There is always a catch, it seems.

I have noticed that a lot of speakers refer to a gent name TED and his talks.  I am not sure who this person is, but I am assuming his first name is Theodore, but he is totally cool with everyone calling him  by a casual nickname.

With all due respect to Theodore and his man admirers, I think there should be more than one lone dude inspiring the world.  What if many speakers would gather and discuss subjects like technology, or entertainment, or even design?  Can you imagine what insight and education that would be!  We could call something clever like "Uncle Teddy's Band Of Speech Givers That Really Make You Think".  If that's too long, maybe it could be shortened to something catchy and with alliteration.  Who knows.

Take care, I am going to be practicing giving a speech with a Janet Jackson headset in hopes of being struck by inspiration real soon.

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The No Fidget Spin Zone

Hey Gang,

Years ago when I was a child, my father used to say to me, "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, stop your fidgeting!"  He had all sorts of gems like that.  "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, sit still!"  "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, be quiet!"  "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, I am not your real father."  Awe, the memories.

It really felt like a blast from the past when I saw the new trend of fidget spinners.  For those of you who don't know what they are, it is a shiny object that people spin with their hands out of nervousness or impatience.  It's not to be confused with the cell phones everyone has in their hands and reads to satisfy their dopamine levels.  Awe, the 21st Century.

It got me to thinking, why does modern society need to be so distracted?  Why can't we just throw away our fidget spinners and  just appreciate the things in life that we already have like the internet? Or television? Or even video games?  It's almost like people are desperately trying to numb themselves to all that 2017 has to offer.  Awe, the foreshadowing.

Take care gang and remember, the distraction that you find today, will be the very thing that you will procrastinate tomorrow.

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer