Wednesday, October 25, 2017

How To Win Fiends and Influenza People

Hey Gang.

One of my favorite and fun holidays is upon us, I have celebrated it every year since I was young,  I am, of course, talking about National Cat Day on October 29th,  I don't have a cat as a pet, I have tried on several occasions to adopt one, but the kitties always seem to prefer the feral life to living with me.

Halloween, a lesser celebrated holiday, is also next week.  This is when costumed children take on the role of stray animals and walk from house to house begging for scraps of food.  I remember a few Halloweens as a child, I would ask my parent's for suggestions as to what I should be, They would say, "Be who we love most" so I would dress up like my siblings.

Trick or treat safety is always an issue for kids too,  It's important to remember to have loose fitting costumes if you want to steal other children's candy.  Also, parents should check their kids' bags for razor blades in apples.  As a precaution, just throw out any apples, preferably at the neighbors who hand out the apples, this is a candy holiday.

Last year, an internet rumor about clowns made everyone all a twitter.  This year, a clown on Twitter is making everyone anxious.  Remember that holidays are a time for fun and relaxation.  Feeling worried for the future is for regular days, so give yourself permission to have fun on a Tuesday night. (Unless you normally participate in Taco Tuesday, then you are used to great Tuesdays!)

I hope these tips help you enjoy the holidays.  For all my feline friends reading this: I have tuna, no strings attached. ( I also have string for you to play with, but there are strings attached, it's the other string.)

Take Scare,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The Power of Loud!

Hey Gang,

As an aspiring life coach and motivational guru, I have observed that good leaders can inspire others by becoming enthusiastic and blaring their voices.  So many jobs I have worked at (prior to being "let go") the bosses walk in and yell, "Alright everyone, let's have a great day!  Those breakfast burritos aren't going to fry themselves.  I can't stay long, my high school starts in 30 minutes."  I love it!  Nothing motivates me more than noisy people first thing in the morning.

Being loud is really the number one rule to effective leadership.  Granted, I have seem some Grouchy Gus's (other coworkers) get annoyed with the management's positive energy. They will roll their eyes or mutter obscenities underneath their breath. (They always get even more irritated when I ask them, "What did you say???"  while the boss is giving us a pep talk.)  I always feel bad for those coworkers and think if hearing someone holler, "Alright! Alright! Alright!  I want you to work hard so I can look good" doesn't motivate you then I don't know what will.

When I start my life coaching business on a full time basis, the first 20 minutes of my lectures will just be me screaming.  I wont limit my bellows just to large groups that I will inevitably have, I will 20-minute scream in smaller groups or even in one-one-one situations.  When you hire Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, you will get 110% of my voice at all times.

In the mean time, I must get back to recycling cans so that I can pay for the noise violation codes that the public library keeps fining me for.  They get mad when I try to inspire and motivate other people at the library.  You have to practice somewhere!


Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

What's The Color of Your Uber?

Hey Gang,

 I have tried to explain to the people selling food that someday I will rival Tony Robbins and have a multi-billion dollar speaking career with an estate in Fiji, but they don't seem to care.  They just say, "That's great, but you need to pay for that Slim Jim today."  So, I decided to emulate a free spirited entrepreneur or an unemployed stand-up comedian and become an Uber driver.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Uber, it's like a taxi where the driver uses their own car.  Since I am a driver with my own car it seemed like a perfect fit.  I hit a few snags at first.  Apparently, Uber has "rules" to be affiliated with them.  An Uber driver needs a car with 4 doors and it has to have been built in 2007 or later.  I have neither.  I did't let that stop me, though.  I reached down into the depths of my soul and thought, WWTRITD, What Would Tony Robbins Incredible Teeth Do?

His teeth told me to become my own Uber, to be the taxi driver that I always knew I could be (but never really thought about until recently.)  I have decided to start my own transportation system called Gruber, it's a Gremlin based ride share program.  You don't need a fancy smart phone either to catch a ride in a Gruber.   I will provide you with my pager number.  If you need a ride you page me, wait near a phone line, I will call you back, ask you for directions, have you wait on the phone until I fold and unfold my map and then come get you.  One ride in just 5 easy steps!

First contact is just the beginning of the Gruber experience.  Once I arrive you will be treated to first class door to door service.  I will carry your bags to my hatchback, protect your head while you squeeze into the back of the car and present you with complementary beverages of tap water and soda crackers.  Once my business takes off, I will be able to provide those elusive Slim Jims.

Once we arrive at you destination, I will retrieve your bags, help you out of the car and announce your arrival by cupping my hands and yelling out to the world that you are here. (I can also make the announcement in a fancy British accent but that would cost extra.)

I can't wait to see you on the open road!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

The Winds of Pocket Change

Hey Gang,

You may have noticed that I have been missing my weekly blog last month.  As it happens, the Walmart parking lot that houses my Gremlin in is located in Florida, so as a result I had to run from the hurricane.  I really didn't want to leave so I tried to talk Walmart into letting me park in the tire center, but I was turned down because this particular Walmart doesn't have a tire center.

I had quite an experience evacuating.  I decided that if I had to leave my Florida Walmart parking lot that I would head a Georgia Walmart parking lot.  It was a little challenging since my Gremlin only goes 35 miles an hour.  The  Florida Interstates were packed with half of the state leaving, so it took me longer than expected to reach my destination.  It took me about a week and a half.

Once I reached Georgia, the hurricane had already passed me and had passed Georgia too.  I decided to make the most of it and do some sight seeing.  Was that fun!  Georgia is so much different than Florida. The Georgia Walmart parking lot has so many more spaces, the cart return seems wider and there are no palm trees.  I took so many pictures!

I am finally back now and can't wait to resume my life-coaching career!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer