The Writer's Block Blog

Hey Gang,

I have been writing this blog for a year and a half.  If it were a baby, it would be walking by now.  If it were a kitty, it would be fully functional and plotting against its enemies by now. If it were a panther chameleon, it would have gone through puberty, laid eggs, saw its offspring and died of old age by now.  I have had this blog for awhile is what I am trying to say.

It isn't always easy to come up with new and exciting topics week after week.  Some weeks, I am inspired by world events, personal challenges or even interesting observations that come into my mind.  This week I have nothing.

I am sure the news is chock full of fodder, but there are times when I become Cathy Gainer Stick My Head In The Sand Trainer.  There is only so much I can read without becoming overwrought with anxiety and fear for the future, it's at that point I transform into Cathy Gainer Can't Get Out Of The Fetal Position Trainer.  No one really wants her to write a blog.  It usually just consists of tears on a computer screen and the words, "When will it end?" written over and over.

This week has also been full of personal challenges. Not the fun, 'I have gone through the storm and came out on the other side' challenges.  They have been more like the 'When will it end?' challenges that turn me into Cathy Gainer Full Of Regret Trainer.

That leaves me right where I am, on the computer with nothing to write about.  I try to think WWTRANOD? (What Would Tony Robbins and Oprah Do?)  In my mind's eye, I see them pulling up from their funk, sitting at the computer and finally writing a weekly blog.  In reality, I wonder if one of Tony or Oprah's assistants would just write the blog while the gurus sat in a dark Gremlin binge eating cracker sticks and cheese dip in a packet. (Those snacks are delicious. Oprah probably has a fancy cheese like brie in her packet. )

Well gang, I hate to disappoint but this week's blog is going to be preempted by a case of writer's block and a very small block of gooey fake cheese.

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

A Dry-Heave In Time

Hey Gang,


This past weekend I did something I hadn't done in a long time and went to the movies.  I saw that Oprah, who is kind of like a lady-Tony Robbins, was starring in a new film based on an old book.  Since I live on a tight budget, I decided to indulge, search for all the loose change that was in the floorboards of my Gremlin and go to an early matinee of A Wrinkle In Time.

The first thing I noticed is how much movie-going has changed.  After paying in sticky pennies and nickels, the lady behind the counter asked me to pick out my seat on a computer blue print of the theater.  I told her that I just wanted to "wing it" and take a look at the occupants in the cinema then sit next to someone who would hopefully become a life-long friend.  She told me that people were in line behind me and she picked a seat for me. (Such customer service!)

When I walked into the theater, it was like stepping into a rich person's living room. No longer were there rows and rows of short metal seats, now there were just a  few rows of fancy reclining chairs.  I went back to the lady at the counter and asked her if she had given me an upgrade. She told me that is how theaters are now and to leave her alone.

Once I settled into my Lazy-Boy-esque chair, the movie began... not the actual movie I paid to see, but 45 minutes of previewing upcoming blockbusters.  At one point, I forget which show I was there to watch.  Finally,  A Wrinkle In Time started.  The color was spectacular!  The imagery was beautiful! Oprah was at her Oprah-est!  Right when I thought the day couldn't get any better, I started to get the cold sweats, which turned into mild nausea, which turned into major nausea, which resulted in my taking off my jacket and retching into it.

As it turns out, the wonder and awe of the new cinematography makes me motion-sick.  I came to the realization that all these movies that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to produce will forever be lost on me and my weak inner-ear.  I stayed through the entire movie. I just closed my eyes and listened to words of the powerful lady that I used to watch on TV for free.

Despite, the queasiness I would give this movie a thumbs up or all the stars...whatever constitutes a good movie these days.  The message was a good one...use spray starch so time won't wrinkle, or maybe it was something different.  I can't remember, I felt terrible.

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer