Thursday, July 27, 2017

Lady Who Who

Hey Gang,

There is a televison show in England that features a hero of sorts called "The Doctor."  I am not sure what the doctor's last name is. This doctor travels through time and space in something called a TARDIS.  It  looks like an old American phone booth, but it's actually a British police box, which is a phone booth used only for English emergencies.

The Doctor has gone on many adventures and has had many enemies.  All of the foes are scary and challenging. Some are very scary, like the Weeping Angels, they are statues that stay still if you look at them, but if you blink or glance away, they will attack. (This once resulted in me staring down a garden gnome for hours.  It was intense and I was banned from Walmart's garden section for six months.)  The most famous nemesis of The Doctor are the Daleks, they look like a bedazzled R2D2 and sound like an old scratched record that skips.

There are also times when The Doctor regenerates.  Every time a regeneration happens, The
Doctor looks like a totally different person. He's looked like old English men, middle-aged English men and young English men. Twice the regeneration made him Scottish.  It was announced that The Doctor will be regenerating into a woman for the next season of the show.

Some people are upset that a time travelling fictional character will take the form of a woman.  I'm not quite sure why.  I have tried to come up with reasons why a women couldn't be a super-natural sci-fi hero.  Here is what I have so far:

The  bathrooms in the TARDIS only has urinals.
Time travel is dependent up the amount a chest hair that the traveler has.
Only an Adam's apple can stop a Dalek.
The Tardis can get chilly and there aren't sweaters readily available.
One of the "stops" may  have a pull-up contests in which women typically have less upper body strength than a man.

I'm still stumped, I am looking forward to seeing how the show progresses.  Since my 1968 Gremlin that I live in doesn't get cable, I am hoping that the Electronics Dept in Walmart will be showing the Christmas special.

Take Care,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Your Mother Has Weight Issues

Hey Gang,

Lately I have been hearing about roast battles.  At first I thought it sounded delicious.  I'm usually team-pot roast but can be swayed with a pork roast, especially if black beans and rice are involved.. Then I found out that roast battles were just organized insult competitions.  In the age of anti-bullying campaigns and trigger words, what a refreshing way to communicate!

The first time I heard anyone hurling insults in an organized fashions was in a "Yo-Mama" off.  This is where young men and women trade jokes based on slandering each other's mothers.  Most of the jokes insinuate that someone's mom, usually the most beloved person in a young person's life, is obese, really stupid or morally corrupt. Hilarious!

I, for one, think there should be a way to participate in the fellowship of roasting, without having to put down your opponent's maternal figure, because if it's one thing that my mother has always told me it's, "Kid, you're on your own. Don't drag me down with you."  (I do love that woman!)

So I have compiled some "Yo Mama" jokes that still let the joke teller look cool while saving the sanctity of their mother.

"Your mother has several eating disorders based on her disappointment in you." (That one is a true story!)

"Your mother has a low IQ and it's probably genetic"

"Your mother is not very technically inclined so she probably isn't reading this blog."

I hope you can use some of the zingers!  If you need anymore suggestions on calling people rude and obnoxious names, check out our elected official Twitter accounts.  They sure know how to sound like the kids today!

All me best!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

6 Reasons Why Articles Objectify Subjective Subjects.

Hey Gang,

I often read articles from informational websites that tell me that the things I enjoy are bad.  For years I thought that  my favorite movies were entertaining and appealing to me.  Well, it turns out that I was wrong.  The authors of these blog posts offer their opinion to create lists and rankings to make rules on what is normally subjective.  It's fun!

All of the articles that list top the 10 best/worst of almost any forms of entertainment tell me that I have terrible tastes in songs/movies/tv shows and books.  It's all very interesting.  I have found that being over 30 and a woman is a disadvantage to knowing what is good and what is bad in the world of entertainment.

Let's take superhero movies.  I never read comic books as a kid.  I thought DC was a city that the president lived in and that Marvel was something I did when I watched Tony Robbins. That isn't the case.  These superhero movies have been the backbone to the box office for the last decade.  What makes a good movie are stories about people with super-human strength or who are some sort of mutant.  Any other story line will definitely make it on the "worst" list.

The same goes for music.  All of music that I listened to as a young person and enjoyed because of the memories they created are all garbage songs.  I guess good music didn't exist until the dawn of the millennium. 

Thanks internet!  You always teach me new things.

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer