Desperately Seeking Tony Part 3

Hey Gang,

The saga continues...I am getting closer!

Domo Arigato Mr. Chatboto

Hey Gang,

I had a fun experience recently... I was in an intense text messaging conversation with a perspective new employer, things were going  great and I just knew this company was going to be a fantastic fit for the both of us.  As with most of my professional interactions, we engaged in a 45 minute back and forth of "You stop texting first. No, you stop texting first." To my surprise I later found out that I was communicating with a chatbot the whole time!

What is a Chatbot?

I know many of you are scratching your head right now and thinking, 'Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, what in the world are you talking about?  You say the craziest things. I have never heard of this term.  What does this have to do with training? No one reads your blog!'

Well, let me explain. I learned that companies have automated programs that are designed to interact with job seekers by texting general information and setting up mundane appointments so the Human Resource people can get back do doing what they do best...gently telling me that I'm not going to get hired.

Why Use a Chatbot

Many companies feel that artificial intelligence can handle answering multiple questions and perform scheduling tasks easier than with a real person.  The chatty robots have endless patience and would never say, "Please stop asking me the same question...No you can't get paid with vacation time during your initial interview." (I didn't get that job.)

Are We Losing Our Humanity?

This is a deep question.  Are we, as a culture, becoming too dependent on technology?  Have we forsaken eye contact, handshakes and the power of a smile for a more streamlined workplace?  Are we someday going to become more computer than person?  I Googled all of these questions and it said we should be OK! Whew, what a relief.

Stay Awake Kids! (Or Reboot if you get too tired.)

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Get Onboard With Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Hey Gang,

As a Corporate Trainer, who neither works for a corporation nor trains people, I like to keep my ear to the ground on industries that I am not employed in.  I have seen a lot of articles lately about onboarding and the importance of doing it correctly.  I don't really know what the term "onboarding" means, but agree that the process is important.

 Here is some of the information that I have gathered: Onboarding has something to do with new people working at a company.  Contrary to my behavior at new jobs, where I walk in and ask, "Where's my desk? Who is in charge of getting me coffee? What exactly does this business do???" some companies have a whole system designed to get fresh employees "on board" to their new surroundings. As an almost-professional trainer, I have thought of some great ways to improve on this mechanism.

First Day of TRAINing - Rather than having onboarding, companies should have, "All Aboarding!"  This is when the hiring manager or HR reps greet employees on their first day dressed like a train conductor.  The employees will hand their offer letters over and the manager or HR rep will punch holes in it like one of  the cartooned Tom Hanks in The Polar Express.  It would be a hoot!  HR could yell "All Aboard...When I say Chugga, you say Choo Choo....Chugga..."

What's more fun for a new employee than dancing and clapping along with the person that they will be reporting to for the foreseeable future?  Good stuff!

Hang Ten on Day One- Another great idea is to have a surfer theme on the first day of employment.  That same manager or HR rep could greet newbies in a sarong and flip flops (which are huge dress code violations) while carrying a surf board over their shoulders. They could greet everyone saying "Surf's up and so is Benefits Enrollment if we don't hurry and get started."

So Boring- Let's face it onboarding isn't always exciting, so my last idea is to embrace the blase. Give each new hire a fidget spinner on arrival, encourage them to check their phones for messages or even watch You-Tube videos.  "This Onboarding is Oh-So-Boring" could be on a banner hung in their new cubicle.

As always, I love training and hope this helps any hiring professional out there!  Also if anyone wants to hire me, just send me an email.  I have my first-day sarong all ready to go!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Back To Cool

Hey Gang,

As I have stated in previous blogs, I currently reside in my 1968 Gremlin that is parked at the Walmart.  I have noticed business picking up due to "Back To School" shopping.  The hustle and bustle of parents and children takes me back to the days when I was just Cathy Gainer, Student Trainer.

I remember it well.  My parents would go on shopping sprees ,fill their baskets with supplies and clothes, sometimes they would even buy stuff for me.  It was a glorious time!  The public school I went to didn't require us to wear uniforms, but I did anyway.  On Mondays and Wednesdays I would wear a policeman's uniform and I would dress like a fireman on all the other days.

It was at our school's pep rallies that I would start to get a glimmer into my future.  I wanted to stand before crowds of people and speak.  I wanted to inspire and motivate the masses with pride.  I wanted to make people happy and excited.  I guess, the school's mascot was my first mentor, is what I am saying.

I look at how far I have came since those days.  I am still learning. I am still working to make my dreams come true and I am still dressing like a fireman on Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Happy Back To School Days,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Your Mother Has Weight Issues

Hey Gang,

Lately I have been hearing about roast battles.  At first I thought it sounded delicious.  I'm usually team-pot roast but can be swayed with a pork roast, especially if black beans and rice are involved.. Then I found out that roast battles were just organized insult competitions.  In the age of anti-bullying campaigns and trigger words, what a refreshing way to communicate!

The first time I heard anyone hurling insults in an organized fashions was in a "Yo-Mama" off.  This is where young men and women trade jokes based on slandering each other's mothers.  Most of the jokes insinuate that someone's mom, usually the most beloved person in a young person's life, is obese, really stupid or morally corrupt. Hilarious!

I, for one, think there should be a way to participate in the fellowship of roasting, without having to put down your opponent's maternal figure, because if it's one thing that my mother has always told me it's, "Kid, you're on your own. Don't drag me down with you."  (I do love that woman!)

So I have compiled some "Yo Mama" jokes that still let the joke teller look cool while saving the sanctity of their mother.

"Your mother has several eating disorders based on her disappointment in you." (That one is a true story!)

"Your mother has a low IQ and it's probably genetic"

"Your mother is not very technically inclined so she probably isn't reading this blog."

I hope you can use some of the zingers!  If you need anymore suggestions on calling people rude and obnoxious names, check out our elected official Twitter accounts.  They sure know how to sound like the kids today!

All me best!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Haters Be Hating

Hey Gang,

The great T-Swizzle has taught us that Haters gonna hate, the Fakers gonna fake and off course the Shakers gonna shake it off.  This got me to thinking...do I have Haters?  Am I a Hater?  I am a Breather, an Eater, a Fantasizer of Tony Robbins, but a Hater?  I don't think so.

There are a few people that I feel extremely envious of.  I mean the envy eats me up so much that I can't sleep, I obsess about them and wish for their ultimate demise.  I don't think that makes me a Hater.  I would call it more of an Envier or a Borderline Dangerous Jealouser, but not a hater.  I am not really sure what a Hater is.

I have decided to get prepared for the day I do have a Hater.  I think my Hater will be a young 20-something person.  I can't decide if it will be male or female, so for now I will just refer to them as Jordan. 

Jordan will at first be struck by my training skills.  Jordan will try to emulate everything I do, but will soon be frustrated that he/she can never truly be a corporate trainer of Cathy Gainer's caliber.  Things will get ugly, I will be tempted to sink to Jordan's level when the mud starts slinging, but ultimately I will prevail the winner.

Having haters was hard. T-Swizzle was right and in a weird way I am glad that Jordan came in my life.  It will teach me a lot about myself, if it actually ever happens.

Take Care Gang,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Who's this TED fellow?

Hey Gang,

Fun fact about me, I am thinking about wanting to become an inspirational speaker.  I have been thinking about it for years now.  I have looked into it and it turns out that you have to have a message of inspiration in order to become an inspirational speaker.  There is always a catch, it seems.

I have noticed that a lot of speakers refer to a gent name TED and his talks.  I am not sure who this person is, but I am assuming his first name is Theodore, but he is totally cool with everyone calling him  by a casual nickname.

With all due respect to Theodore and his man admirers, I think there should be more than one lone dude inspiring the world.  What if many speakers would gather and discuss subjects like technology, or entertainment, or even design?  Can you imagine what insight and education that would be!  We could call something clever like "Uncle Teddy's Band Of Speech Givers That Really Make You Think".  If that's too long, maybe it could be shortened to something catchy and with alliteration.  Who knows.

Take care, I am going to be practicing giving a speech with a Janet Jackson headset in hopes of being struck by inspiration real soon.

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Cathy Gainer Answers Your Questions!

Hey Gang,

I haven't gotten any comments on my blog yet, so I am going to answer some of the questions that I am imaging that you are asking. The first one would obviously be, "Cathy Gainer, Corporate Trainer, what kind of trainer are you?  It seems like you know nothing and have no real experience at anything."

Let me first respond by sincerely thanking you for noticing. I appreciate the shout-out.  To answer your question, life is a training ground for living, so since I have been alive for several decades, I am an expert level trainer.  My focus of training is on leadership, but I  have been a subordinate in most of my jobs that pay money, so that presents a challenge.

I am also a technical trainer.  It has taken me years, but I have finally figured out the Dewey Decimal system.  I am offering classes at the library to explain how books are classified.  It's a great skill to learn and until people can magically ask questions on any subject to a machine and get an instant answer, we will all benefit from learning Mr. Dewey's expertise.

I am also looking into something called eLearning.  It seems to be all the rage.  I am not sure what it is.  My guess is it some kind of  Spanish training and I would be the eL Trainer.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comment section.  Having a real question to answer would be nifty!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer