Wednesday, October 11, 2017

What's The Color of Your Uber?

Hey Gang,

 I have tried to explain to the people selling food that someday I will rival Tony Robbins and have a multi-billion dollar speaking career with an estate in Fiji, but they don't seem to care.  They just say, "That's great, but you need to pay for that Slim Jim today."  So, I decided to emulate a free spirited entrepreneur or an unemployed stand-up comedian and become an Uber driver.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Uber, it's like a taxi where the driver uses their own car.  Since I am a driver with my own car it seemed like a perfect fit.  I hit a few snags at first.  Apparently, Uber has "rules" to be affiliated with them.  An Uber driver needs a car with 4 doors and it has to have been built in 2007 or later.  I have neither.  I did't let that stop me, though.  I reached down into the depths of my soul and thought, WWTRITD, What Would Tony Robbins Incredible Teeth Do?

His teeth told me to become my own Uber, to be the taxi driver that I always knew I could be (but never really thought about until recently.)  I have decided to start my own transportation system called Gruber, it's a Gremlin based ride share program.  You don't need a fancy smart phone either to catch a ride in a Gruber.   I will provide you with my pager number.  If you need a ride you page me, wait near a phone line, I will call you back, ask you for directions, have you wait on the phone until I fold and unfold my map and then come get you.  One ride in just 5 easy steps!

First contact is just the beginning of the Gruber experience.  Once I arrive you will be treated to first class door to door service.  I will carry your bags to my hatchback, protect your head while you squeeze into the back of the car and present you with complementary beverages of tap water and soda crackers.  Once my business takes off, I will be able to provide those elusive Slim Jims.

Once we arrive at you destination, I will retrieve your bags, help you out of the car and announce your arrival by cupping my hands and yelling out to the world that you are here. (I can also make the announcement in a fancy British accent but that would cost extra.)

I can't wait to see you on the open road!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer


  1. Thanks! Call me if you need a ride, not today, my pager is broken...maybe tomorrow!