I Got Framed

Hey Gang,

Yesterday, I went for a ride in my 1968 Gremlin.  I was zipping around like I always do when I am cruising. (I have ten good minutes of drive time before the engine over-heats and I have to pull over for  a half hour.) At one point I was at a stop sign and the truck in front of me had a license plate with a frame around it.  The frame read...Former Navy Seal.  I thought it was a deserving way to honor a noble occupation and it got me thinking...What frame should I get for my Gremlin that would reflect my life's work?

For those of you who have seen my Gremlin, (which would be no one) you may say, "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer,  you already have so many bumper stickers on it and beanie babies in the windows, why on earth do you want even more flare for your car?"  Well, the answer is simple... I want to be as cool as the former Navy Seal driving a big truck that was built in the 21st Century.

I have searched different automotive store and websites, but I just haven't found any personalized frames that encapsulates my essence.  Here are some phrases that I have looked for to no avail:

Former Call Center Trainee
Former Retail Trainee
Formerly Filled Out An Application For The Outback But Never Got A Reply
Once Mowed Someone's Lawn For Money, But Broke Their Sprinkler System
Attempted To Get Unemployment Benefits But Was Told I Had To Have Held A Job First
Invested In Craig's List "Opportunities"
Tried To Borrow Rent Money
Recycled 7 Bags Of Cans To Buy One 6-Piece McNugget
Takes Coins Out Of Fountains

If anyone reading this can help,  please leave a reply!  If all else fails I may have to fashion my own with a clothes hanger, a glue gun and good old-fashion gumption. (And also something to write with.)

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

The Ballot of MaryJane

Hey Gang,

For those of you who are familiar with current events, I don't have to explain what's been going on with marijuana politically.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the latest "doobie" news, let me lay it out for you...Pot is legal now in some states.

Now, I neither condone nor encourage the smoking of the left-handed-cigarettes or the right-handed-ones, either. (For those of you who are ambidextrous, then your a candidate for a bong.)  I do, however, find the subject interesting.  Fun story - As, Cathy Gainer Teenage Trainer, I was once peer-pressured into trying a Swisher Sweet Cherry-Flavored Cigar.  It didn't have drugs in it, but it still made me black-out for 3 days.  I woke up in a jazz club wearing a fedora and playing a mean triangle.  I tried to adopt a cool nickname like "Fats" or "Dizzy", but all anyone would call me was, "Please Leave!"

As an adult, I have decided not to temp fate and try the "devil's dandelions," but far be it for me to tell other people how to live their lives.  Some people may think that living in a Gremlin in a Walmart parking lot isn't cool or hep or desirable, but I have proved otherwise!

Although these marijuana laws have been put on ballots for citizens to vote on and some states have experienced an increase in revenue as a result of weed taxation, it seems that one little old man might change all of it. It's neat. It reminds me of Grandpa Gainer Old-Timey Trainer who once said, "Baaarrrhhh!" He did so love to grumble!

Stay awake and keep on voting. It makes a difference (kind of). 

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer.

PS- Check out my new channel on the You-Tubes!

Cathy Gainer's Podcast!!!

What's The Color of Your Uber?

Hey Gang,

 I have tried to explain to the people selling food that someday I will rival Tony Robbins and have a multi-billion dollar speaking career with an estate in Fiji, but they don't seem to care.  They just say, "That's great, but you need to pay for that Slim Jim today."  So, I decided to emulate a free spirited entrepreneur or an unemployed stand-up comedian and become an Uber driver.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Uber, it's like a taxi where the driver uses their own car.  Since I am a driver with my own car it seemed like a perfect fit.  I hit a few snags at first.  Apparently, Uber has "rules" to be affiliated with them.  An Uber driver needs a car with 4 doors and it has to have been built in 2007 or later.  I have neither.  I did't let that stop me, though.  I reached down into the depths of my soul and thought, WWTRITD, What Would Tony Robbins Incredible Teeth Do?

His teeth told me to become my own Uber, to be the taxi driver that I always knew I could be (but never really thought about until recently.)  I have decided to start my own transportation system called Gruber, it's a Gremlin based ride share program.  You don't need a fancy smart phone either to catch a ride in a Gruber.   I will provide you with my pager number.  If you need a ride you page me, wait near a phone line, I will call you back, ask you for directions, have you wait on the phone until I fold and unfold my map and then come get you.  One ride in just 5 easy steps!

First contact is just the beginning of the Gruber experience.  Once I arrive you will be treated to first class door to door service.  I will carry your bags to my hatchback, protect your head while you squeeze into the back of the car and present you with complementary beverages of tap water and soda crackers.  Once my business takes off, I will be able to provide those elusive Slim Jims.

Once we arrive at you destination, I will retrieve your bags, help you out of the car and announce your arrival by cupping my hands and yelling out to the world that you are here. (I can also make the announcement in a fancy British accent but that would cost extra.)

I can't wait to see you on the open road!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

My Own Gizmo

Hey Gang,

I have mentioned before that I am a Life Coach that lives in my 1968 Gremlin in the Walmart parking lot.  Now some of you may say, "Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, I am a car enthusiast and the Gremlin didn't come out until 1970."  Which is true.  My Gremlin was the beta test car of all the Gremlins.  It was given to my Grandpa Gainer back before they had crash test dummies.  AMC (the Gremlin's manufacturer) would just call my Grandfather every evening and if he was still around to answer the phone, they assumed the Gremlin passed the safety test.

I like that my home/transportation was handed down from generation to generation.  After my Grandfather survived being an owner of this beauty, he handed it down to my father, who politely declined the offer.  Later, when I asked my father for some rent money, he told me to just live in the Gremlin and here I am in now!

The Gremlin is a pleasure to drive and to live in.  I named her Gizmo after the 1977 movie, Gizmo.  My favorite part of the car is the hatch-back, or as I like to call it, my lanai.  It keeps things cool on the humid Fl nights and it is also acts as my security system. (Shoppers walk by, look in and see my shrine to Tony Robbins and keep walking.)

Today is a big day for Gizmo, I am putting some indoor/outdoor carpet in her lanai.  I once tried to put shag carpet in her, but the candles from my Tony Robbins shrine kept starting fires.

Take Care,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer