Obligatory End of the Year List

Hey Gang,

It's that time of the year when everyone on social media  is making lists...lists of hit songs, hit movies, popular news stories, but no one is making a list of the top lists. 

My favorite lists are advice lists like "The Top 10 Signs That Your Significant Other is Bad for you" or "5 Reasons Why You Should Leave Your Toxic Marriage"...terrible relationships tend to make great lists!

There are also itemized accounts of events that transpired during the year, like celebrity deaths lists.   Famous people will go through a roller coaster of popularity while they are alive. When they die, though, they are all unsung geniuses in their field.  People tend to curse the entire year that took the life of their hero. (Suck it, 2016 for taking all of our rock stars and actors)  Remember that one year when no one that was famous died?  What a good year that was!

Don't forget the New Year's lists...People will make a record of what they resolve to change at beginning of January.  I would think it would be hard to come up with brand new resolutions every year.  I  just copy and paste mine from the previous year,  It's a time saver and makes me feel efficient.

Whatever list you compose this year, be sure to put yourself number 1 on it! ( Unless it's the naughty list, then put yourself accordingly.)

Happy New Year,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Fish-Net Neutrality

Hey Gang,

I don't often write about politics because I think it's divisive, controversial and confusing.  Last week was fraught with news about net neutrality and I just can't keep silent anymore.  I have always been a fan of all kinds of nets...nylon, polyester and even the elusive mesh netting.

From what I understand, the government stepped in two years ago to make sure that nets remain neutral (or at least varied shades of beige.)  After last week's vote, the net is left up to big companies to control.  What is going to happen to the neutrality that we once had?  Quite frankly I don't want to live in a world where nets can be any color or design.  I lived through the neon fashions of the early nineties and I don't care to go back.   (It's a slippery slope...next thing you know, nets will be in mom jeans and hoop earrings...No thank-you!)

This is will affect all nets...fish nets, soccer nets, hair nets, mosquito nets and even the NBA team, the New Jersey Nets. There is still time. Please contact your elected officials.( If you don't know how to get a hold of your local politicians you can always look them up online, but hurry, the prices for accessing the web are expected to sky-rocket!)

Stay Awake!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Multi-Level Motivating

Hey Gang,

Like most people I have tried to make my fortune selling protein shakes and vitamin fizzy water to my friends and family.  It's appealing on so many levels.  You are told that you can work from the comfort of your home, buy yachts and vacation homes just by persuading other people to start selling protein shakes and fizzy water to their friends and family.  It's the circle of dreams that ends with someone's garage being filled with boxes of expired products.

Even though this has bankrupted many people and left some in financial ruins, I think the concept of multi-level marketing is nifty!  It basically says that all you have to do is recruit 5 people who then recruit 5 people and so on.  It's a never-ending cycle with limitless potential! (Unless you believe in the math that proves you can only repeat the cycle thirteen times, because that would encompass the population of the world.)

Instead of using this concept to peddle powdered supplements, soap and cosmetics, why not use it for generic motivation?  It would be like an Amway meeting where we can sell positivity rather than 10 lbs of detergent.  Just think, I tell 5 people that they are full of unlimited potential and goodness, then they inspire 5 people until we have 13 cycles of a grass-roots motivation.  It may not make anyone rich, but neither do the multi-level marketing schemes!

Have a great day!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Traner

A Very Special Holiday Post

Hey Gang,

The end-of-year holidays are right around the corner.  Everyone is excited and preparing for their celebration of choice. (Don't get me started about the war on Winter Solstice, that's for another blog.)  It's also this time of year when television shows have their special episodes.  Many shows put the spotlight on our favorite characters learning the real meaning of the season...ratings.

I thought I would do the same with this week's blog.  I have a fun back story about my life.  I grew up in a small town with a desire to see the world.  Unfortunately I had to suppress the urge to travel so my brother, Tiny Tim, could join the Army.  I continued to make my hometown the best it could be despite a greedy boy wizard, Harry Potter, who tried to be the town's slumlord.  Eventually Potter was visited by three ghosts and a radio-active reindeer and he returned all the gifts that he had stolen from underneath people's trees.  It was a fun year!

I also want to break the proverbial third wall and look directly into the camera to give you, my readers and the people who don't know quite what to think of me, some heartfelt advice:

• Life is short, time goes by fast. You start out life as a young person and continue to think of yourself as youthful until the day you realize that you aren't.  That day is called Middle-Age Realization Day.  It's spent Googling hair dye and non-invasive plastic surgeons.
• Cherish the people in your life.  No, you can't choose your family, but you can choose to remind them that your still related even when they ignore you in public places.  Now that social media is apart of our lives, you can post unflattering pictures of them on the internet.  Families may eventually fade away through the years, but the World Wide Web is forever.
• Respect everyone!  All people deserve to be treated fairly.  The dumb ones, the weird ones, even the ugly ones need some extra understanding this time of year.  Be the change you wish to see in the world, unless the change is made up of dirty pennies and foreign coins.

I wish everyone a great holiday season!  Remember, it's not about the gifts, it's about the presents.

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

The Secret to My Medicority

Hey Gang,

There are are a lot of books, videos and websites about becoming the best version of yourself.  Apparently striving for excellence is a top selling subject.  Today I want to challenge that theory.  I feel there is no shame in mediocrity, as long as you are the best mediocre that you can be.  Excel in being so-so!

You may be thinking, 'Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, that is easier said than done.' I agree, but with a few of my pointers you can succeed in being just a little better than average.  Remember, there is only one you in a sea of 7.5 billion people.  If you can barely out-do 3.75 billion other humans than you can be an expert at being intermediate.

Tip #1- Rest is important.  Successful people will work around the clock to reach their goals.  Mediocre people will take breaks, naps and pauses.  The mediocre folks may not achieve greatness, but their Candy Crush scores will be pretty darn high.

Tip#2- Don't sacrifice comfort.  Being comfortable is key to staying happy in the moment.  Some may say a short-term surrender of personal enjoyment will pay off with long-term accomplishments, but it may cause one to be deprived of instant gratification.

Tip#3- Done may be better than perfect, but never-starting is better than done.  If there is nothing to accomplish then there is nothing to complete.  It's math.

I hope these tips help you to be the commonest you can be.  The Latin phrase "carpe diem" is used a lot, but I prefer the French "comme si comme sa."

Have an ordinary day!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Spanksgiving

Hey Gang,

I'm hoping everyone is having a Happy Thanksgiving!  I have my turkey jerky and bottle of gravy-flavored Gatorade, so I am set for the holiday!  Many people use this day to reflect and find gratitude for the things in their life.  I have decided to add a twist to this tradition and start swatting all the people I know and love, and some that I just know.

It started out when I went to the gas station to buy my holiday meal. The attendant scanned my turkey flavored feast and I looked at him deeply. (It seemed that he was avoiding eye contact with me , but I kept staring.)  I said, "Hey, I see you almost everyday when you ring up my dried meat pieces, you are great and you matter."  Then I swatted his hand and he looked surprised.  I thought, how sad...probably no one else took the time to tell him what a great job he was doing.  I decided to spread the cheer to the rest of the gas station.

As I was leaving, I saw a gentleman headed to the register to buy a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes.  I told him, "We all celebrate the holidays differently, kudos to you for polluting your body while we commemorate our founding supper."  Then I gave him a gentle punch and the shoulder.  He replied with profanity.

I continued my journey into the parking lot.  I stopped to greet a lady, who was putting gas in her car.  I told her, "Way to fill up using pump number 7! Keep it up!"  I smacked her on the behind and skipped along.  She yelled, "Hey what's your problem???" 

I told her, "It's no problem, I am happy to oblige."

She put the gas handle back on the pump and yelled, "My hands aren't full anymore.  I dare you to come back and do that again, you psycho!!"

I replied, "I don't have time.  I am on my way to inspire others and no, I'm not a Psychologist, just someone who cares." I could tell I changed her day! 

I challenge all of you to do the same.  If you spend today with your family, take the time to tell them how you feel and follow it up with a punch, a slap or even a noogie.  Or, if you are like me and weren't invited this year to eat with your relatives, then spread the love to strangers.  You definitely will make it a Thanksgiving that they will talk about for years to come!

Happy Spanksgiving!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

Let a Compass be Your Compass

Hey Gang,

I was listening to the radio the other day and heard a song with the lyrics, "Let your heart be your compass."  I thought that was just a nifty idea.  Let your feelings guide you. Feelings are led by emotions and emotions are always very consistent!

I put this theory to a test and went camping!  I threw out the GPS and any navigational tools that I had packed.  I wanted to take a walk and see where my mental state took me.

At first, I was very happy and excited so I decided to hike into the most condensed woods that I could find.  If I was in this good of a mood, can you imagine how delighted I would be to see a cute fuzzy bunny?   Following my heart, I walked deeper and deeper into the wilderness.  I didn't find any adorable animals.  I did find a lot of insects and a hardy patch of poison ivy!

After several hours, fear and fatigue starting to take over, so I decided to switch it up and let anxiety be my compass.  It was at this point that I tried running away from the most condensed trees in the woods.  My feet were constantly getting tangled in vines and the sun was starting to set. It seemed that leaving a forest isn't as easy as walking into it, so I turned full-blown panic into my compass.

Luckily, some nearby school children heard my screams and led me to safety.  As it turned out I was just in a neighborhood park and a playground was only a quarter of a mile away.  I was grateful to get help, although the parents of the children filed a petition to never let me near the playground again.

I do, though, recommend that everyone should try at least once to let their heart be their compass, but maybe keep a smartphone in your back pocket, just in case trouble arises.

Happy Camping!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer