Wednesday, March 14, 2018

A Dry-Heave In Time

Hey Gang,

This past weekend I did something I hadn't done in a long time and went to the movies.  I saw that Oprah, who is kind of like a lady-Tony Robbins, was starring in a new film based on an old book.  Since I live on a tight budget, I decided to indulge, search for all the loose change that was in the floorboards of my Gremlin and go to an early matinee of A Wrinkle In Time.

The first thing I noticed is how much movie-going has changed.  After paying in sticky pennies and nickels, the lady behind the counter asked me to pick out my seat on a computer blue print of the theater.  I told her that I just wanted to "wing it" and take a look at the occupants in the cinema then sit next to someone who would hopefully become a life-long friend.  She told me that people were in line behind me and she picked a seat for me. (Such customer service!)

When I walked into the theater, it was like stepping into a rich person's living room. No longer were there rows and rows of short metal seats, now there were just a  few rows of fancy reclining chairs.  I went back to the lady at the counter and asked her if she had given me an upgrade. She told me that is how theaters are now and to leave her alone.

Once I settled into my Lazy-Boy-esque chair, the movie began... not the actual movie I paid to see, but 45 minutes of previewing upcoming blockbusters.  At one point, I forget which show I was there to watch.  Finally,  A Wrinkle In Time started.  The color was spectacular!  The imagery was beautiful! Oprah was at her Oprah-est!  Right when I thought the day couldn't get any better, I started to get the cold sweats, which turned into mild nausea, which turned into major nausea, which resulted in my taking off my jacket and retching into it.

As it turns out, the wonder and awe of the new cinematography makes me motion-sick.  I came to the realization that all these movies that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to produce will forever be lost on me and my weak inner-ear.  I stayed through the entire movie. I just closed my eyes and listened to words of the powerful lady that I used to watch on TV for free.

Despite, the queasiness I would give this movie a thumbs up or all the stars...whatever constitutes a good movie these days.  The message was a good one...use spray starch so time won't wrinkle, or maybe it was something different.  I can't remember, I felt terrible.

Stay Awake Kids,

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

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