Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Red, White and Boom!

Hey Gang,

Today most Americans will be celebrating with fireworks and fun.  This year, like most years, I will be watching the festivities from my Gremlin parked in the Walmart parking lot.  It is a long standing tradition that I began when I first started not getting invited to 4th of July parties.

The last party I attended was a few years ago.  I had started working at a job that I eventually got fired from.  I had overheard one of my coworkers talking about having a party.  I asked if the party was by invitation only. My coworker said it was and didn't give me an invitation.  Luckily I was able to look at everyone else's invite and memorized the address of the shindig.  To EVERYONE's surprise I ended up attending the party and I was dressed like Uncle Sam! (Not the mascot for the US, but my Uncle Sam. He was 80 and covered in boils. It was a head-turner for sure!)

It was at this party that I realized two things: alcohol and fireworks don't mix and if the invitation says BYOB, then you shouldn't drink the beverages in other people's coolers. I wont bore you with the details, but after I drank half of a Zima that I found in a container marked, "For Judy Only," I got a little crazy with the poppers and firecracker worms.  To this day, I cant see the slow ooze of  a Black Snake without having to lay under a doggy anxiety blanket.

I hope today's holiday is great for all of you.  If you go out to barbecue or if you stay in remember to be safe and Stay Awake, Kids!

Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer

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